


i'm too good at goodbyes

by regrettes



Category: The Prom - Sklar/Beguelin/Martin
Genre: F/F, I'm so sorry, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-05-15 17:53:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19300786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regrettes/pseuds/regrettes
Summary: Emma can't handle being a second choice. She can't handle letting herself get hurt anymore. She knew Alyssa was scared but Emma had feelings too, didn't they matter?





	i'm too good at goodbyes

_You must think that I’m stupid_

_You must think that I’m a fool_

 

Emma felt the tears fall down her cheeks, not caring who saw her as she made a break for her truck. She couldn’t believe Alyssa wouldn’t want to work things out, that she wouldn’t want to just try and talk about it. Her mom might be overbearing, and condescending, but she wanted what was best for Alyssa deep down. Emma knew the worries and the fears of coming out, but she also knew that Alyssa would have a support system no matter what. Shelby had come around to the idea of gay people not being the devil’s spawn, and the Broadway actors wanted to coddle every gay teen they came across. Emma would stand by Alyssa’s side no matter what, but in this situation she didn’t know if she could do it anymore.

 

_You must think that I’m new to this_

_But I have seen this all before_

 

The blonde slammed her hands on the steering wheel of her truck, her sobs now wracking her body as she thought about everything that could have and should have been. They were supposed to have their prom, be themselves, and be together. Now all she was left with was a stupid song for a girl she was so hopelessly in love with but couldn’t handle the heartbreak of anymore. The hiding and the stolen glances weren’t enough to mend her unruly heart, she needed to be out and to be happy, no matter what the cost. Alyssa meant more than anything to her, but she knew this was coming. This was the threat from the beginning, that Alyssa and her wouldn’t make it because of what other people thought of them. She was done getting close to people in general, but putting her heart on the line wasn’t going to be the first thing she did for someone who wouldn’t do the same for her.

 

_I’m never gonna let you close to me_

_even though you mean the most to me_

_cause every time I open up, it hurts_

 

Starting up her truck, she sped out of the lot, not knowing where she was heading but just not wanting to be anywhere near the school, or near this town. She let the radio fall into a dull buzz behind her, not bothering to turn the volume up to see what songs were playing. They wouldn’t mean anything to her, she was alone in her feelings and in her life. The universe, as if sensing her pain, reacted accordingly as it began raining at a steady pace. If this was what the world had to give her in response to her heart shattering, then so be it. Emma pressed on, driving further and further from Edgewater until she ended up in Wabash, the only thing lighting up the town being a run down diner.

 

_So I’m never gonna get too close to you_

_Even when I mean the most to you_

_In case you go and leave me in the dirt_

 

She pulled into the lot, not moving to get out of her truck, just staring off into the diner as if it was the one last lifeline she had. When the rest of the world around her was dark and bleak, this diner was still brightly lit, if maybe a little dirty. Inside, she could see a few patrons sitting at a booth, flirting with the waitress. It reminded her of the 50’s, how that used to be the cool thing to do. Don your leather jacket and hop in your car or on your bike and just scoot off to the local diner. How she would’ve killed for a life like that, to be a greaser and get the girl in the end. Maybe she was just projecting a little too much of herself into what seemingly could’ve just been as miserable as her current life was, but that romantic idea of getting the girl had been her dream since childhood.Smiling sadly, Emma took the keys out of the ignition, contemplating whether or not she should go inside. She was a little hungry, but being in public felt just as horrendous as being at home alone.

 

_I know you’re thinking I’m heartless_

_I know you’re thinking I’m cold_

_I’m just protecting my innocence_

_I’m just protecting my soul_

 

After what seemed like an eternity for Emma, her tears dried and she was able to put into perspective just what had happened, and where she’d ended up. This was no way that she wanted to spend her life, but this was something that had to be done. She had to put herself first for once, even if it ripped her open and let every raw emotion pour out of her. Even if it meant losing the love of her life.

 

_But every time you hurt me the less that I cry_

_and every time you leave me, the quicker these tears dry_

_and every time you walk out, the less I love you_

_Baby, we don’t stand a chance, it’s sad but it’s true._

 

_I’m way too good at goodbyes_

 

Putting the key back in the ignition, Emma took one last look at the diner before speeding back out of the parking lot. She knew that she was just protecting herself, that she’d been hurt one too many times by fake dates and empty promises. The fake prom had been a bad blow, but Alyssa refusing to go through with their plans had been the straw that broke her. She wasn’t the same hopeless romantic that she’d been when they started dating. She was damaged, hurt by having to hide herself or be shunned. Hide herself and her feelings or risk losing the things she cherished most. Well, Edgewater had won. She’d lost them anyway.


End file.
